Exactly 17 months ago…it was a Sunday night too, just like tonight…25th August 2013, I landed here, for a brand new adventure. Overall, no regrets. But on pursuing the aspiration of attaining a better Quality of Life, a long loooong way more to go…mostly because of the list of ‘have to do-s’ that’s still pending. But that doesn’t stop me from being Happy & Contented and most importantly Grateful for having all those/that I do in this life, both in Melbourne & back home in Malaysia.
Usually it is just prior to my birthday, or new year that I get into a Reflective mode. Surprisingly today…am feeling super reflective. Gosh!
Life hasn’t been a bed of roses…but the fact remains that :
After a long hiatus, my fingers started itching today – to write 🙂 Allowed myself to succumb to the itch…
After watching WILD, I started reminiscing how each of us set ourselves on one journey or another of self-discovery. Forest Gump did it through running, Cheryl Strayed though walking/hiking, and you & me and each individual via their own unique way…
Often to know oneself, you have to detach yourself from the routine…and embark on a journey of self discovery – either internally or externally. I was never one who’s been able to meditate! During those meditation sessions in Thevaram classes (Hindu sunday school), I used to peep halfway through & wonder how long more. The chattering mind of mind never rested. I would be afraid that I might start humming the song in my mind – focus gal…FOCUS! Tskkk….so any wonder why I have music on like all the time when I am home or driving etc etc…there’s just some background rhythm to silence the roving mind!
Even in the short 1 month of detaching myself from the virtual world (pretty much how I am connected to majority of people I know in my life & get my daily newsfeed & world updates) by deactivating my FB account, I learnt that I missed people a lot. As much as people’s negativity rubs off onto me and drained me out…what with the series of unfortunate events for Malaysia’s airlines in 2014 & all the other global catastropes that inundate your newsfeed…yet, I realized no (wo)man is an island.
I miss my family and friends back home almost daily. Thanks to Skype, whatsapp, FB, etc etc, I am grateful keeping in touch has become easier…its more like whether someone wants to, instead of is able to do so – a matter of will 🙂 But it is never the same as being able to take either a short, or a long drive just to say hi, share some laughters, or a meal, or a short vacation with your loved ones… I do love my own company & the company of friends/colleagues here a lot, but I miss having the many different groups of friends from different phases of life around me – perhaps if I live here for 30 years, I would have what I used to have back then. But in order to have that, I will first have to make more friends here! *duh*
I’m a firm believer that Quality is of greater value than Quantity when in comes to the precious bond known as Friendship.
However, I am grateful for making the right choices in visiting people when I did last year, and to be able to take emergency leave to pay my last respect for a dear one not too long ago. That’s always been my worst nightmare – to not be able to be there for your dear ones when they need you, as I banished myself faraway physically…but at Heart, I am always close to home.
It is never ever the same…but I am trying my best.
The births, weddings, small and big functions, visiting and being there for someone who is unwell (physically, mentally, emotionally) or maybe just need to talk to a friend (in person), funerals that you will have to give a pass…just because you are too faraway & too busy working.
And the Irony of it all is that I was the one who would almost always be there, if not stat…at least asap. Hmmph.
I give thanks daily for the lovely people around me – those gems I have accumulated along the way – back home, and here…and Pray that God not only Bless them, but look after each and everyone of them very very well indeed.
Indeed I am a blessed soul for being peppered with the amount of kind souls I have crossed paths with in Life. A friend’s words comes to my mind “The people you Attract into your Life are a Reflection of Yourself” 🙂
When there was a fork in the road, I wasn’t afraid to take the road less travelled…for that I am proud of myself & thankful for those who have been responsible for it in one way or another…and all the supportive cheerleaders 🙂
I didn’t want to live with the regret of “What If I had taken the other end of the junction”, 5-10 years down the road. I do not regret breaking off my comfort zone, though I wasn’t crazy enough to go someplace where I knew nobody…I still needed some familiar faces to start off in a new place.
Yet, I shake my heads whenever I think that the main reason for coming here was for ‘Quality of Life’ – I hope to realize it someday, attributing this phase of my life to merely being “A Beginner’s Struggle”.
For the records, I live only 45mins drive from the City that was voted as the Most Livable City, 3-years-in-a-row!
Probably that’s why I am still searching… looking, for myself. I wish I will be able to get a great break to rediscover me. Somehow Nature has always given me the answers…I reckon that is the reason I loved all those rambles & hikes of yesteryears 🙂
To be a world traveller might not be feasible at this point of life yet, but Definitely someday – hopefully sooner than latter! 🙂
For now…focusing on weeding out, or more realistically just ignoring the negative sources surrounding me…and focusing on self development. Listening and sorting out patient’s complaints and problems are one thing…but too much of negativity from other sources that I can’t avoid started to blunt my own saw in the not so distant past. Time to take time to sharpen my saw (the 7th & yet the key of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)!
Hoping to be able to pursue my other passions (besides Medicine, which is my job that takes up almost everyday of my life)….in Creating the holistic Me.
There used to be many. I wonder if I lost some in the great Ocean while flying across it :p
Least I forget who I was and am & have the potential to grow into, if you strip away the doctor in me…
Someone must never be defined by their profession (even if its one’s vocation) Alone. Period.