Quality of Life

When one tries to log in to personal laptop with work computer password – sigh! *slaps forehead*

That phrase QOL…the reason I decided to sign on the dotted lines few years ago, and to jump into the bandwagon for an adventure of a lifetime…that very phrase sounds like Utopia Now! Sigh…

Not enough of already not having a weekend to ourselves, and already working for more hours than what we signed up for…now, longer, and longer hours! And at a time so critical too – ARGHHHH! Whole of February I was an angry-bird, due to alot of issues, mostly revolving around work. Was so hopeful that March will bring beauty & peace into our lives. Sigh….more torture is all I see! 😦

Makes me wonder, like seriously…did I sign up my life to the Devil himself when I signed the contract in KL few years ago!! :0

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Leaves are questioned for some when applying for merely a few days, but for others a month off is alright! Double standards? Hypocrisy? Don’t even get me started on that…

As professionals, is it too much to expect our opinion to be taken into account before making changes pertaining to us? Instead of imposing it onto us?!!! :@

And even that meager ONE weekday Off that we have, is expected to be sacrificed! Siao arrr weii… we aren’t machines, but merely mortals, who have a life! Well well…perhaps I missed out the fine print that said : “The day you start working with us, you signed up your life to us & Your life is now mine…to be sucked away! You have no life! If I see you having fun, when it is nothing to do with us…you will be taunted. If you dare to speak up, you shall be made a ‘roti canai’ 

Maybe that’s the issue…I have so much of dissatisfaction, and feel like voicing them out. But the memories of last winter…makes me shut up.

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I run a great risk of becoming a nut myself…and I’m not talking about the tough nut here :p But the Hospital Bahagia inmate type. A little nutsy already…losing my peace of mind.

What an irony…that too merely 1 day after telling my friend, “The goal of life isn’t Happiness…it is PEACE! In Buddha’s words…Nirvana. Happiness is fleeting. Peace…can’t be robbed”.

I spoke too soon. Mere events by manipulative blood-sucking soul-wrenching human beings robbed me of my peace & state of calm. Just like that. ..where art though, my inner strength?

All I want in life is just to LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST? AM I asking for too much?

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Sometimes I wish I could just cry my heart out. Instead of carrying this kinda burden in my heart & mind…and not to mention soul! This morning, while driving to work…I was so tempted to make a U-turn & head towards the beach instead – the place where I seek solace anytime I am this deeply distressed, in the past year.

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I know, right. But all the words & positive quotes seem to fade palely in comparison right now…

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The only consolation is that I am not travelling this road alone…there are other Angels God have put along with me, for us to support & nudge each other to keep marching forward – the only risk is that whenever we get together, all we speak of are about these negative forces in our lives, which further sucks my spirit away.

I had a Dream on the 18th February 2015! One which by God’s grace may it come true…sooner, rather than latter 🙂

determined

My name means INNER BEAUTY & GRACE – all I aim for now is to re-find the true nature of my beautiful name within myself, before I morph into the devil itself.

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A girl has gotta do what she ought to do…by her standards. To achieve what is important to her! U go, girl! !

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